A Glimpse of MICHAEL III: Pimps and Poachers

Michael, now a youthful seventy-one years old, walked into the local hardware store to purchase supplies. He needed supplies for the new tile flooring he was going to put in his laundry room. He walked over to the floor supply area then noticed a man looking his way. When he glanced up the man quickly looked away. He continued to shop, then walked over to the tile-spacer supply shelf, where the stranger was recently standing. For a moment, he was distracted by the thought of the man. Then a department assistant approached him and asked, “Sir, may I help you?”

“Yes, I need a bag of white half-inch size tile-spacers.”

The young man looked at the items on the shelf with Michael, then concluded they did not have any on the floor.

“Let me check our inventory.”

When he returned, he said, “I’m sorry, sir. That size won’t be in stock until next week. Perhaps you might want to consider quarter inch. As you can see, we have plenty at that size.”

Michael shook his head, smiled, then thanked the young man, paid for the items he needed, and left the store.

As he drove toward the next hardware store his cellular rang. It was his wife, Jacqueline.

She said, “Honey, I went by Zingerman’s and bought the corn beef you like. Also bought some dark chocolate for me and me alone. No sharing here! Man, that store is so expensive. I’m so glad we’re rich! HA! By the way, why did you turn the refrigerator down one level? You know I like my milk extremely cold.”

“Baby, I did not turn the frig down. I have not been in the kitchen all morning.”

“Well, if you didn’t turn it down, who did? I don’t think these grandkids of ours can reach the front of the refrigerator door yet. Besides, you know those silly cross-shaped spacers you said you needed? There’s one right here under the refrigerator door.”

“Honey, it wasn’t me. In fact, I don’t have any spacers. I used them up years ago at my parent’s home and have to restock. That’s one of the items I went shopping for. Unfortunately, they were out of stock. I’m heading to a second store now.”

She said, “Okay. I’ll just sweep it up when I clean the floor later today. See you when you get home.”

Michael continued his drive to the next hardware store, then was struck by a mental flash that almost made him lose control of the car.

He thought, “Spacer on the floor…” and immediately made a U-turn and floored his accelerator. He was traveling 90 mph in seconds heading west toward the freeway, blowing by a police squad car. He raced up US-23 for two miles, jumping from lane to lane to bypass traffic, then exited at Geddes Street. Then he turned west on Geddes, blowing through a red light, with the police hot on his tail.